It occurred to me yesterday night that it's been close to a month since I had my solitude at the park. It's amazing how I used to love stoning there..to not even thinking about it for a few weeks. School has really been taking up the bulk of my time that it made me forget about lots of things unconsciously. Then when those tiny little things surface, they stay in my head for quite some time, till the next day when they'd disappear again.

Once again, I'll testify to His faithfulness and abundant grace. Nobody could have seen me through the things I'm going through, nobody could have made me who I am today.

I've always been asking the Lord, why it is so easy for others to just make a phone call and start pouring out their souls and grievances. Why is it when I think I can't handle those big issues in my life anymore and I want to talk to somebody, He tells me stay alone. All He does is to tell me to talk to Him and he's going to make me stronger. And I can assure you, it's definitely not an easy task when God cuts away your back-up plans you happily hid from Him, all you get in return is "My dear girl,I'm here. Come talk to me."

God showed me that I'm made to listen to people talk, not make people listen to me talk. Just that I wonder how can I ever be so strong and deeply rooted in His love to do so. Yet everytime when I feel I cannot, God changes the cannot to a resounding can. He makes my sorrow turn to joy, lifting me up when I fall, and bringing me back when I'm lost. For all that He's done, I just only want to be that living testimony for Him.

Some people will take a lifetime to comprehend this kind of feeling I'm talking about, but I just know this is the kind of feeling that I can't live without, and this is the kind of love that's going to see me through all the days of my life. Till the day when I die and rejoin Him in lovely heaven.

And so, I'm good. In God's hands.